It has been 50 years — ought to I attain out to the one which acquired away?

DEAR ABBY: I’m a widower aged 72, and I’m questioning if it might be inappropriate to contact an previous girlfriend from my school days. Sure, it has been greater than 50 years, and she or he is married with grown youngsters. I’m simply questioning what your place is on this. 

It could be good to speak and atone for our lives, and many others. She lives 400 miles from the place I do, however I want to converse together with her and speak about our lives. Since we each are in our early 70s, there’s clearly not numerous time left. — CATCHING UP IN GEORGIA

DEAR CATCHING UP: My place is don’t dip your hook within the water until you propose to maintain no matter you catch. Your previous girlfriend is a married girl with a household. In case your motive is to easily sing a refrain of “Auld Lang Syne,” go forward and attain out. If you’re lonely and there may be something extra to it, then don’t.

DEAR ABBY: Some kin come a couple of times a yr from out of state to remain at my in-laws’ home. For the previous 20-plus years, it has been the identical routine. They present up, however we by no means know forward of time when or how lengthy they’re staying. We’re anticipated to drop all the things to go over there to go to with them so long as they’re on the town. There are not any plans and no schedule; we simply sit round ready for them to determine what they wish to do. 

I’m so uninterested in it. I would like understanding forward of time so I received’t must cancel my earlier plans once they present up. It’s good to talk, however I’d wish to know beforehand that they’re coming so I can meet them for a meal or exercise quite than sit for hours. Can I make this request now that it has been happening for therefore lengthy? — BURDENED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR BURDENED: Sure, you can also make your needs identified. What you’re proposing is widespread sense and customary courtesy. Inform these kin you’re keen on seeing them however would love some advance discover once they plan to be on the town so you’ll be able to alter your schedule and take them someplace quite than sit for hours at your in-laws’. It’s completely doable that these kin — and your in-laws — would respect it.

DEAR ABBY: For the previous two years, my husband and I’ve attended a vacation live performance with our good pal “Ellie,” who lives two hours away. Ellie not too long ago instructed a pal of hers how fantastic the live performance was, and now the pal desires to come back to city to see it. The issue? We don’t like this individual for a number of causes, however Ellie has chosen to ask this pal to attend the live performance together with her. We really feel slighted. How ought to we method this with Ellie? — OUT OF TUNE IN ARIZONA

DEAR OUT: I like to recommend you not try this. It’s possible you’ll be shut with Ellie, however you shouldn’t attempt to dictate who she invitations to be her friends to occasions. When you do, you’ll alienate her. Settle for that if you wish to attend the subsequent live performance you’ll have to purchase your tickets individually, and whenever you encounter Ellie and her pal whom you abhor, be cordial.

Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.